Myla Alone

Kavie was supposed to come and bring me out to meet that son of hers I’ve heard so much about, but she didn’t show up today. No big deal for me, she was probably busy, and really, the longer I hold out on this promise I made, the better.

I’m starting to feel iffy about it. I mean sure, I know he has his problems too, Kavie’s told me about his many many many mishaps – including the infamous hammock incident – but he’s probably changed dramatically since he’s been away. He’s traveled, made friends with lions… I’m not that screwed up, why should he do the same as everyone else?

Why do I care anyway? The colony out there doesn’t really matter to me, and if he ostracizes me like them than Kavie will just give him one of those talks she is so good at.

So I did not meet up with her today, but I did have some uninvited guests come sniffing around my tree today.

I heard them coming a few minutes before they came into the little clearing, and I could hear them talking but wasn’t listening. I was expecting their voices to trail off as those who passed by on those rare occasions someone came by did.

Soon though, they were directly under my tree, one of them was exceptionally loud. I couldn’t stand it after a while and crawled out of my hollowed opening onto a branch close by. My tree is dense and thick enough that I could peer through the leaves to see who was below, but those below could not see me.


Sure enough, there was a meerkat standing there much too close to my tree, and he had with him a warthog. They were still talking and I could see now it was the meerkat who was the loudmouth.


I then watched him turn from his friend and begin to reach for a bug… one of my bugs!


I quickly snatched up an armful of small rocks I kept for such an occasion, and flung one straight down. It hit its mark, thunking the grabby meerkat right on his bright red head.


Ha! He didn’t even know what hit him. He looked over at his warthog friend with this dumbfounded look on his face. They still weren’t leaving though, I began to throw them all one or two at a time. I didn’t aim to hurt them, I actually don’t think I was aiming at all at that point, I just wanted to chase them off.


I looked back down to see if it had worked. Of course it hadn’t, I let out a groan of frustration. Why wouldn’t they just go away? I didn’t want to have to talk to them.


After a few seconds I decided that I might as well, since my bombardment method was proving ineffective.

I called down to them, trying to sound as polite as I could while still pointed. “You know, when someone throws things at you, the polite thing to do would be to leave.” I ignored the hypocrisy of my own statement.

Upon hearing my voice, both the meerkat and the warthog looked up at my tree. They still looked as confused as ever, but it was still a touch comical to see that loud guy look that way.
His confusion was turning to annoyance, I saw, as he called up to me but not knowing where I was, pointing his words and gaze at the other side of the tree I was on, and slightly above. “Why should we leave?”

“Because, this is my tree, and the bugs in it are mine too.” There, a straightforward answer, the two were sure to understand.

Loudmouth’s tone was beginning to match mine, but he apparently had shorter patience with others wasting his time.

“What makes this your tree, or your bugs?”

Well, patience was starting to leave me as well, maybe I’d try something more blunt. “Because it just is. It is my tree and those are my bugs. So just scram, ok? Its not like there aren’t other trees or other bugs.”

I saw the warthog get his friend’s attention. His voice was a lot softer so I didn’t catch what he’d said. I got the gist of it when loudmouth spoke to him.

“No, no, no, Pumbaa. We’re not going anywhere! This is a free jungle! Come down here and tell me this is your tree!”

This last part was obviously meant for me, as he had turned back up to the tree and pointed.

I couldn’t really see any way around it. If it would get them to leave me and what was mine alone, than I’d just have to go down there and face those two weird males.

“Ugh, fine…” I answered, and left it hanging as I climbed down. The bottom of the trunk had nothing for me to make a more graceful climb down, so I jumped the rest of the way, landing in a small curtain of shadow. I walked into the light, my eyes narrowing at the sight of them.

I don't have much experience with warthogs, but the warthog that stood slightly back from his friend didn’t seem menacing. In fact, he didn’t seem annoyed that I was denying them anything, he just looked wary.

The meerkat looked pretty much the same to me as he had from overhead. He was a tad taller than me, his fur a touch darker. That patch of fur on top of his head was just as red close up. His arms crossed as I approached.

I made sure to speak slowly, to make myself completely understood. “This is my tree, ok?”

“Again, I ask, what makes it your tree? Do ya live here or something?” The meerkat asked. Nice to know he was at the same volume down here too.

“Yeah,” I fired back quickly, knowing how sarcastic I sounded. I was getting tired of this, what was the problem?

The warthog took a step forward, but seemed to think better of it, he looked at me questioningly.

“You live here?” he asked. He sounded so honest, like he actually cared. It only struck me because I recognized the tone from when I first met Kavie.

It sort of cooled my rising annoyance, and I felt comfortable answering him. “Yes.”

“But why, this area is so far away from the others, don’t you want to stay with everyone?”

I looked down when I answered that question with a “no”. I didn’t really feel like I should be mad at him for some reason, when I glanced back over at the meerkat though, my anger and annoyance came back in full force. “I want to live in *my* tree.”

Loudmouth waved his paw, as if dismissing that comment. “Ok, maybe it is your tree, but just because there are bugs in the tree, how does that make them yours?”

“If they’re not mine they’re not anyone’s.” I managed a slight shrug. I still felt I had a claim on them though. "Which means they’re also not yours, so just go find another tree. I’m sure there are even more bugs somewhere else.”

I must have touched a nerve; the meerkat opened his mouth to say something, halted, then rolled his eyes and did that dismissive gesture again, but with both hands. “Fine, you know what? Its probably not even worth it!”

Then he turned to his friend and began stomping away, muttering. “Come on, Pumbaa. Leave her precious tree! Gotta leave the stupid tree!”

I had to smirk a little at his tantrum. I had triumphed. They were finally leaving. I felt relieved as I climbed back up my tree. Once I got to the branch I’d been watching them from, I could see the warthog turning around to follow the meerkat. I think I heard the warthog call back, “Nice to meet you!” to me, but I might have been hearing things. He hadn’t seemed so bad, perhaps he could be friends with Kavie.

It didn’t really hit me until later that they had been the first ones to actually come within my little area excluding Kavie. Even if they’d been unwanted, it was strange. Good, I guess, but strange.

I can only hope that they decide not to try again. I can’t do much more than the rocks, but I could always employ other measures to ensure my seclusion.

-Myla

Kavie discovered my little hideaway tree earlier in the week. I had given her directions but I think it’s a good sign that it took her such a long time to find it. That means I really am nice and secluded.

She invited me to forage with her and I accepted. I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘forage’ though, there are practically bugs under every rock and log around.

I’d forgotten how it felt to be around Kavie, to spend time with someone I counted as a friend. I don’t have to worry about her judging me based on certain things I’ve decided not to mention right now.

I know I’ve spent time with Swifty in her absence, but however much she might deny it if I asked her, I’m sure all of the things Swifty thinks about me are based on those events.

I don’t want to seem whiny, so I’ll try not to mention those events specifically again, if I can help it.

Picking through the smorgasbord before us, Kavie asked me about what I’d been up to up until the big homecoming and move. I was honest with her, really nothing had happened.

She of course, gave me the same advice as she had when she’d left. “Well dear, maybe being in this new environment can help you be more open, and then maybe more things will happen.”

I sighed. What did she expect? I mean, I tried; I really did try when I first arrived. If I couldn’t make it as a normal meerkat in two different colonies, than maybe she should accept that I just shouldn’t be a part of one. I have, for the most part.

“Maybe you could give it a try in a couple of days?” Kavie asked. I gave her a questioning look. “By that time my Timmy should be back home again from visiting those lion friends of his, and I’d like you to meet him.”

Ah yes, I had promised to meet Mr. Timon, hadn’t I? That was actually a little exciting. I had heard so much about him already, and of course there is the fact that he found this amazing place to live, that might not be such a bad meeting.

I went ahead and agreed. She seemed pleased. Hey, if he turns out to be as amiable as Kavie, that would bring my grand total of meerkats that speak to me up to three... four if you count Kavie’s brother-in-law.

-Myla

I don’t even know where they got all those different kinds of flowers from.

Now, I haven’t seen enough mate ceremonies to know what’s normal and what isn’t, but I’ve heard enough to think that you don’t need that many flowers. I’m not kidding, Swifty went crazy with them, and it made the whole event aromatically nuts.

It was pretty crowded too. Apparently I underestimated how popular my dear acquaintance is. It might also have had something to do with that she and Bryor are the first two to become mates in our big new home. Hmm, maybe that attributed to Swifty’s want for a big show.

I did recognize the parts I’d heard about from Kavie, the important ones. They made their promises to one another, and then Bryor stomping on the hollow branch. That has some sort of symbolic value, but I don’t quite remember what Kavie said it was.

Kavie officiated; she said that it’s one of her favorite things about being matriarch, getting to actually perform the ceremony. She said that she likes helping meerkats make such an important commitment. I didn’t say anything, it’s her way of thinking and I like and respect her too much to argue with my own views.

I will admit, it does sound nice, the whole promising-to-be-with-one-meerkat-forever-and-never-leaving thing. If Mother had had the option I’m sure she would have taken it. I don’t know what my father would have done.

I had a dream about her the night before. Well, more of a memory that I discovered while I was asleep.

I’m little. I don’t really now how old, but I’m still a pup. It was on a night when we had to sleep outside of our old colony, one of many.

I was a little overexcited that night, I squirmed and scrambled up the tree we were sleeping under when my mother tried to get me to settle down for sleep.

"Goodness, what is with all this energy all of a sudden?" I remember her saying, no doubt astounded because that particular day had marked three in a row of following our colony as it migrated.

My response had been the typical pup answer of “I don’t know.” I did know, of course, I was just waiting, thinking about what her reaction might be.

"Oh really, the way you've been jumping around I'd think you had something to be happy about."

She gave me a little smirk as I snuggled closer. I looked up at the stars as she stroked my fur, lulling me to sleep. It almost worked too, until after a long silence I found the courage to explain.

“One of the other pups spoke to me today,” my voice was tired but held a touch of satisfaction.

She looked down at me, "That's why you're so happy?" Her questioning look coaxed me into the story.

"When I was looking for insects, one of them asked me if I'd found any. Then I guess he saw who I was, because then he ran back to his friends."

I wasn’t looking at her; my head was lying against her shoulder. I heard her sigh, then lift my chin so my eyes met hers.

“Sweetie, that is really great, but I don't think you should take too much from that. I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

She was protecting me, she always did. Even from my own false hope. She wanted me to be happy, but also to understand where we stood in our society.

“I know,” I’d answered. A little more subdued. The thing was though, I didn’t quite understand. Why did we live the way we did? Why couldn’t we sleep in the burrows with everyone else? Why were all the others supposed to ignore us?

It started to get a little colder, and I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. I felt that I should ask at least some of the questions forming in my mind. If I unloaded some of them, I was sure to have a better night’s sleep. Plus I just really wanted to know.

“Mother, why won't they talk to us? Why can't we sleep in the group with them?"

I could tell - even through the haze of sleepiness - that she was thinking about how best to answer me. That night it seemed, she opted not to, but she let me down gently.

"Those are some big questions, darling. It takes a long story to answer them, and it's getting later and later. How about another time, ok?"

At that point I was too far gone to understand or even remember that I’d asked her anything.

That was also the point that I woke up. I suppose it doesn’t have much relevance to Swifty’s mate ceremony, but it’s something that – now that I’ve found it again – I don’t want to forget it.


-Myla

Swifty found me, her’s and Bryor’s mate ceremony is in a few days. I can’t believe they didn’t do it already, but she said that she wanted to wait until the colony was all settles. Apparently it’s gonna be a big affair.

She invited me if I would like to come. I dunno though…I mean, she has actually been nice to me, so it could be a convenient way to repay her. Of course there are still sure to be some looks from some meerkats. I don’t even know what Lin might do if she saw me…

I suppose I’ll go, but only for a few minutes. Just long enough to congratulate Swifty and get back to my seclusion. That’ll save a lot of awkwardness on both my part and other’s.

-Myla

Wow. I'm just overwhelmed. I have truly never seen a place like this in my entire life. Timon must've really lucked out when he found it.
(Well, more than luck, as Kavie's said.)

Everything is just the most vivid green. The water is clear and there are bugs everywhere. It really does seem perfect.

The best part is that nobody has to do jobs like digging tunnels or sentry duty anymore. I don't have to even see anyone if I don't want to. This place is so vast that I can find a secluded little home all for myself.

And I do believe I have found it. The colony has decided on this small lake as their central hub, so I decided to get a good distance away from that.

I made my own trail through all the undergrowth, and found a small but quiet clearing with the best-looking tree. It really is the closest to perfect that I could get. It's so tall and the branches are so thick that even if someone found my spot, they wouldn't know where I was from down on the ground.

There's a hole on one of the lower branches with a pretty good-sized hollow area inside the tree. That's where I'll sleep.

I actually feel sort of peaceful. I mean, I'm in a remote part of this little jungle, I'm high up and away from predators...or anyone who bothers me. The best part though is that my new tree is filled with bugs. I don't even have to leave the tree if I don't feel like it!

I won't let anyone bother me. I know they don't care to see me, so they should just stay away.

Except Kavie. Kavie could come.

-Myla

Decided to change the plans on updates. It's just taking me too loong to work on Myla's story on top of the other projects I have going, so I'll just update when I can, and not worry about the timeline.

Thanks to those who actually read this.

-Celia

Ugh, we've been traveling for days! I didn't walk this much in a day even when I was searching for a new colony. I don't recognize anything around, so I have no clue where we are. But of course none of us knows where we're going.
It doesn't help that I haven't seen Kavie since the day she came home. We practically all moved out that day.

For such a weird notion, they all seemed to be pretty willing to leave.

I'm at the back of the procession, which is fine with me. The only thing is that Kavie, Max, and Timon are heading it. I still haven't even met Kavie's son yet. Maybe after we reach that perfect home he left his dear mother to go find.

-Myla

There was a ruckus going on on the ground when I woke up. When I looked down from my tree, it
seemed that pretty much every meerkat in the colony was below me. I climbed down into the throng, wondering what all the fuss was about. Then it clicked, Kavie must be back.

Everyone seemed excited, that's for sure. Some of them were looking confused like me, but the atmosphere was kind of a combination of energy.

I saw Max talking to another meerkat who worked with him, they were arguing. I thought maybe he'd know where Kavie was.

They completely ignored me as I came up. I think they would have anyway even if we weren't all grouped together, they were talking so animatedly.

"I just don't know..." Max's friend was saying, waving his paw at him.

"What's to know? Moving there'll probably make things easier."

"Easier? Why do we need to do that?"

Max slapped his forehead. "Who asks that? We'd be safe, all of us!"

His friend looked past Max. "He says." He sounded unconvinced about something.

"He's right. I know Scruffy, the move will be hard on everyone. Plus we probably won't have to dig tunnels anymore..."

"Wait, wait," Scruffy interrupted. "We won't dig tunnels? What kinda crazy place is this?"

'I dunno, but he says it's safe. No predators. I don't much like it either. But he's pretty passionate about it. Plus, he's my nephew...I guess I'm bound to take his side every now and then."

I felt a break in the conversation and decided to seize it.

"Hey Max, what's going on? What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you go see Kavie?" Max said. He, of course, was just trying to get me to leave so he could talk with his friend. Not very polite. But, I guess I could learn a little about manners too.

I eventually found Kavie, she looked better than she had at any time I'd ever seen her. She was just ecstatic. It felt like she was the source of all the excitement that everyone else had.

"Oh Myla! I was just going to get you. Have you heard? We found him!”

The light I saw in her eyes made me really smile for the first time in weeks. "Wow Kavie, that’s great!”

She then brought me into bone-crushing hug. I guess she had to relieve some of that excitement. It was nice, even if I could barely breathe.

When she finally released me I kind of figured she would bring me to meet the son I’d heard so much about. When she didn’t, I had to inquire. “So, where is he?”

"Well, he's not right here. He had to go back to his friends for a while - it's a long story - but he'll come back later. Myla, he's found his place! And he wants to bring us all there to live!"

It was so great to see her like this. I was truly happy that she saw her son again. Her Timmy.

I didn't really mind the idea of moving, I still don't. I'll probably just continue doing there what I'm doing here, avoiding everyone as much as possible. I didn't want to bring Kavie down with all my stuff, so I just enjoyed the moment with her. One thing's certain, it looks like him coming home is gonna change everything for everyone.

-Myla

I'm going to be jumping ahead a bit in the story. I noticed that I wanted to get to the jungle and to ToC by it's anniversary, which is next week, and I've still got a few months to go in Myla's story. But, since not much really can happen to a meerkat with only one aquaintence to talk to, I don't think you're missing much. She's an angsty little thing at times, isn't she?

-Celia

I’d been sick for a while; I’m not sure what it was. It could have been what I’d had before Kavie left coming in full force, or it might have been something I ate. In any case, I pretty much didn’t move at all from Kavie’s old burrow the whole time.

I guess misjudging others has sort of become my thing, because Swifty has shown to be a bit different from how I first saw her. Granted, she is still a bubbly gossiper, but she actually visited me while I was down there and even brought me some water once.

I’m finally well enough to go back up to my tree, and she was waiting for me, looking like she was going to explode from excitement.

“Myla, oh Myla you won’t believe it! I’ve been telling everyone, Bryor asked me to be his mate!”

She then proceeded to jump up and down and squeal. I’m not sure if she expected me to do this as well. I was happy for her, especially since she had been pretty nice to me, even though I wasn’t showing it in the way she was expecting.

She gave me enough time to congratulate her before she started in on the whole story.

“Well, of course you know that we have been seeing a lot of each other, Bryor and me. He liked to come with me when I went foraging and we often would watch the sunset together. He is really just the best, cutest, most wonderful male I’ve ever known. He’s so strong too. He could probably finish that tunnel they’ve been working on down there all by himself!”

She then noticed that she’d gone off-topic, and quickly jumped back into it.

‘Anyway, I get off-duty from watching some of the pups and he comes up to meet me, and he doesn’t even let me get a greeting in, he asks me right then!”

She then smiled as if she were about to start jumping again. It takes me a moment to realize that she wanted me to congratulate her again.

“That is great Swifty, congratulations.”

She then sighed deeply and slumped down onto the ground, her back leaning on my tree. She had this far away look in here eyes and that weird smile still plastered on her face. I was starting to think she’d gotten too much sun.

I sat down facing her, and then she finally came back from wherever her mind had taken her.

“One day I hope all females get to feel like this, experience it. Especially you Myla, you are a nice girl, but you stay up in this tree all the time. I don’t know how you’ll ever meet anybody that way.”

This was the sort of thing Swifty says about me. I don’t know if she does this to anyone else, but when she doesn’t talk about everyone else in the colony, every once in a while she’ll give me an odd statement like this. I could take offense to it, but most of the time I just ignore it.

After the sun had set she decided it was very late and she still had more meerkats to tell about the news. I was then able to climb up into my tree and think for a bit.

Like I said, I usually ignore those type of statements Swifty shoots my way, but it might have been that sun-stroke type of look she had that made me think about it. Of course the whole point of staying in the tree WAS not to meet anybody. I don’t want any contact with anyone in this colony. Well, Kavie, and I guess Swifty. She makes a good acquaintance.

And as for her and Bryor, good luck to her. I don’t have that much experience with males, or meerkats with mates, but the whole thing seems very messy. I know I only have my parents and others from my old colony to go on, but I don’t even know if my parents were mates. Mom never told me. I kind of doubt it though. If they had, wouldn’t he have stood up for her? Mates are supposed to stand by each other, I’d think, because they love each other.

Then of course, love in that aspect is a whole different thing. That form of it is extremely foreign to me.

-Myla

I'm begining to think it was a mistake to talk to her. Yup, definately begining to think that.

Now every time I come out of my tree she spots me and than comes ambling up to yammer at me about this and that, like I'm her best chum or something.

It's not that Swifty isn't nice, she is. I'm just not very used to having someone talk to me practicly every second of the day.

I don't even know what she's talking about half the time. Usually it's gossip she's heard from some source or another, and since I don't associate with them I have no idea whom they are about. Even if I did, I don't think I'd want to hear about the reproductive problems Rocky and Lin are having, or Yoko's and Chiri's sisterly fight over the male that was supposed to be Chiri's mate.
Her favorite subject, however, is Bryor. You see, Bryor is a male, and apparently he is the most amazing male to ever grace this earth.

"You should really see him, Myla. His eyes are the most intense blue, so much so that the sky always looks grayer when he's around."

She'll go on that way for a long time, then sigh and close her eyes with this weird-looking grin on her face.

I usually don't have to say anything, which is maybe why I've allowed her to continue as she has. I'm debating that if she ever does let me get a word in edge-wise, if I'll take it.

At least it's something to think about.

-Myla

I got hungry, so I climbed down to search for insects. It wasn't exactly easy, it's been pretty dry lately and all the bugs want to hide under logs and rocks and things. The most I was able to find were millipedes and some horned beetles. I've never had a want to try to eat millipedes. They just don't look appetizing.

Since I do have so much time on my hands I was able to completely concentrate on finding a meal. That's probably why I didn't immediately notice the group of other meerkats in the same area. Not until one of them came close enough for me to notice.

They still try to avoid me whenever possible, so the fact that one of them was close enough to be able to lift the rock about two feet away from me was something.

When I spotted her I froze. She didn't though. My eyes searched up to where her fellows were foraging, they didn't seem to notice she'd gone.

She seemed to have noticed me even before I saw her. Her smile was bright and friendly but...it weirded me out a little.

I mean, NO ONE outside of Kavie and occasionally Max has even come near me, it was kind of unnerving. It didn't help that she just seemed to darn...chipper.

"Hi there," she said, her smile not faltering. Her voice was reflective of the aura she exuded. "I noticed that you're the only one over here. Would you mind if I searched here too? My name's Swifty."

She held out her paw to me. I stared at it for a moment - needing second to take what was actually going on - then decided to take it. She shook my paw with so much enthusiasm that I had to check my wrist when I got it back to make sure it wasn't damaged.

I started to turn over some rocks in hopes of finding some more insects. I was kind of hoping that this little introduction might be the last thing she said to me for a while. I have never been much of a talker while I foraged...apparently she was.

I hadn't gotten the first beetle into my mouth before she started up again.

"I'm sorry, but I don't quite remember your name. We have a similar friend in Ms. Kavie. She's mentioned you, but I'm not always good with names."

I looked over at her and saw that she was glancing at me expectantly. "I'm Myla." I answered to appease her. My tone seemed to fall flat when compared with hers.

"Ah yes, that was it." she nodded and turned back to the patch of grass in front of her.

She probably would have stayed if her group hadn't begun to move on. She wanted to stay with them it seemed, and bayed me a quick goodbye as she put her namesake to good use and scurried swiftly back to them. In the distance I saw them all look back at me then run to catch up with her. Probably curious to know why she had come all they way down here to talk to me. I think I'd like to know that too.

Odd female. Not mean or anything, just...odd.

-Myla

I have no idea what this is, but it asks a decent question. So I'll give it a shot.

Trust. That's what I think anyway. It's always been a hard concept to accept for me, let alone describe.

There were only two others that I ever felt safe or comfortable enough around to share anything with. Those two would be my mother and Kavie. Kima was close, though.

How can you really be that comfortable with someone that isn't your parent/leader?

It's difficult to describe how important it is to me. Maybe it's because I don't do it that often. If I trust someone, I don't really need to tell them, they just sort of know. It's like a bond - trusting someone - feeling a sense of comradery and understanding between you two. Almost like being friends.

I do know it's something that has to be earned, though. By them...and by me, I s'pose. No double standards, huh?

*sigh*. It's a pretty loaded thing. I definitely don't have it with anyone here right now. That doesn't really matter to me, though. Despite what Kavie thinks, I don't need to. I have all that I need. I'm fine.

Perfectly fine.

-Myla

Kavie's leaving. She's leaving right now. She's just too worried about Timon, she apparently can't take it anymore.

She was out at her rock again when this monkey suddenly appeared. She told me that he said that he'd seen Timon, and helped him on his journey by telling to "look beyond what he sees". Now Kavie is convinced that he's lost out there, chasing something that doesn't exist.

From what she's told me about him, that could be a possibility. Kavie really seems to think so, and she would have a better understanding of her son.

When I found her she was rushing about, trying to secure everything in the colony. The matriarch can't exactly leave on a whim, so she had to make sure things wouldn't fall apart without her. Her assistant Lin is taking over temporary duties. Another thing I may not have the right amount of insight to have an opinion on...she was Kima's mother.

Max was following her as she rushed around.

"Kavie this is nuts," I heard him arguing with her. "How are you supposed to find him? You don't even know where he is!"

"Then I'll just have to search everywhere. I can use my maternal instincts," Then she spotted me. "Myla!"

This was when she told me what had happened. I had to admit, I thought it was just as crazy as Max did. But she seemed so sure about it, I don't think I could have talked her out if it if I tried.

"Let me come with you." I asked. She shook her head.

"No, no dear. You need to stay here. This is something I should do by myself."

"The heck you do!" Max shouted at her, staring crossly. "You are NOT doing this alone, I'm gonna go with you." He pointed at himself to emphasize.

Kavie rolled her eyes. "Max, that's real sweet of you, but you don't really want to come! We're talking maybe hundreds of miles, and I'm not sure how long it'll take."

Max's gaze strayed away for hers for a second, and his face went slowly out of his frown. He looked sad, or at least less-mad. His voice had at least lost the tone of anger. "If you'll remember, I'm supposed to take care of ya...I promised."

There was a long moment when they just stood there, his paw on her arm. I felt a little awkward, like I was intruding on something private.

"All right," she finally said, with more sternness than I would think.

I leaned my head in closer to her. "What about me?"

Her head snapped quickly to look at me, maybe she'd forgotten I was there. "I'm sorry Myla, it'll be bad enough with him slowing me down," She tiled her head to indicate Max. "Besides, you need to take this time I'm gone to think about what we talked about the other day. Maybe...put it into practice?"

I let my shoulders dropped and smirked. Then nodded my head to appease her.

"That's my girl." she said, smiling. Then she hugged me. That was the first time I'd heard that sentence in a very long time. Thankfully, I kept myself calm to keep from tearing up.

"I won't forget you." I said, then kicked myself inside, a little too over-dramatic.

She laughed. "You make it sound like I'm never coming back. I don't know how long it'll take, but I will. And I'll have my Timmy with me."

Her eyes lit up when she mentioned her son. Then she bayed me goodbye and they started off. The last thing I heard was Max as he caught up to her, "Whaddya mean I'll be slowing ya down?"

As they both disappeared over the horizon, I couldn't help feeling like I was on my own again. Maybe because that was true. With Kavie gone, I'd literally have no one to talk to. Despite my nod, I don't think I'll be putting her advice into practice. There's just too much to lose.

I sighed deeply, noticing that it was getting darker. I was supposing it would be ok to move back to my tree when I heard a noise from out in the grass. I stood up, hoping it wasn't a predator. I turned back towards the tunnels - maybe I could get to Kavie's burrow before whatever it was noticed me - when I then saw something much bigger than he jump onto the rock out of the corner of my eye.

The large gray thing had the weirdest paws I'd ever seen, it had a mane-type thing around it's head, long and white. It's face was colorful, red and blue with yellow eyes. I had never seen anything like it and sprinted up my tree before it could attack.

It followed me, swinging up the branches. It was so large I didn't think my tiny tree could hold us both. Then I noticed how it moved...it was a monkey.

"Hey! Get down!" I yelled at it. It obliged by leaping down and landing gracefully onto the rock. His movement shook the tree so badly that I fell out. I hit the ground quite un-gracefully.

The monkey laughed a crazed laugh as it watched me slowly get up. I was reluctant to move any closer.

"I apologize to you, I didan't mean to startle you." It's hard to describe the way he spoke, I'd never heard an animal talk like that. With his deepish voice, I could tell he was male. He didn't seem menacing, he seemed crazy, but I didn't have any reason not to trust him.

I was still uneasy though. "...Are you the monkey that Kavie talked to?"

The monkey smiled and nodded. His expression changed when I mentioned her. He looked like he knew something, and was enjoying withholding the secret.

"Yes, she will find him. She's just as datermaned as her son."

I blinked. "How can you know for sure?" His smile widened at my question.

"When you have lived as much as I have, you can sometimes tell thess tings."

I continued to stare at him. He may have been right, but he was still strange. I didn't really know what to say. I settled with trying to end the conversation.

"Um, listen. It was nice to meet you," I said as politely as I could. "but I was preparing to sleep in that tree, so if you don't mind..."

He nodded again and eased himself up off the rock with the stick he was holding. Very odd that he can climb and jump, but needs that stick to help himself stand.

"Oh yes, yes, you get your sleep."

Thank you. " I said as I was climbing to the strongest limb.

"You should listen to your friend," I heard him say from below. "When they return, you'll need to learn it."

I looked back down but he was already off, I could hear him laughing - almost cackling - in the distance.

That was one of the weirdest animals I'd ever met. And how could he even know Kavie talked to me, much less what she said?

I continued to ponder that as I drifted off to sleep. No, I concluded...he couldn't have known...couldn't possibly...




-Myla

She literally kicked the tree! Then down I came. I don't know how she could be so sweet and so strong at the same time. Something I never would have expected from her.

Anyway, I fell flat on my face in the dirt. I'd been sleeping, so I was pretty slow to understand what was happening. Once I'd realized that I was on the ground and my shoulder hurt I tried to turn myself over. Of course I was still groggy and turned on the wrong shoulder. Painful, yes. Kavie didn't really seem to notice.

"Myla, I'm tired of your moping! You are going to face the rest of the colony with your head high and they will respect you."

I stared up at her. "Kavie...that's definitely something I never had...their respect."

She just let out a loud sigh and helped me to my feet. I started brushing myself off, and she helped some.

"You need to stop this whole you-versus-them thing, I think that's been your problem all along. You just assume that none of them will accept you, and then they don't! It's only because you don't open up!"

I didn't look at her the whole time she was dusting off my front. She paused for a moment, then leaned her face into my line of vision. She didn't look sharp anymore. She gave me an exasperated smirk that held so much reassurance. She looked at me like I was her daughter.

Her tone was soft again, back closer to her normal range. "I don't know how many times I have to say it before you'll believe me, but what happened with Kima was not your fault. You have got to stop beating yourself up. You're ruining your own life. Kima looked up to you, I doubt she'd like what you're doing."

I just couldn't meet her eyes. Not for long. Sure, she might have been right, but why did it have to be so hard? I don't think I can change. What I had to learn, had to do to survive, I couldn't just un-learn that, could I?


She let me go back to her burrow, which is where I am now.

Sleep seems to be the only way to stave off having to think about all this.

-Myla

When I'm asleep I suppose I forget...not that anyone has let me while I'm awake. I still haven't returned to work. I stay up in that tree. Noone comes near it now but Kavie. They had to find a new sentry post.




I'm not quite better, but she let me back up here.

Kavie tries to help me, and I know she means well. I just think that what happened to Kima is a sign that I'm not meant to interract with other meerkats. I'm not supposed to be included or try to be.

Despite my efforts, I'm tempted to break my promise. I'd hate feeling sorry for myself. It sure seems easy, though.

-Myla

They all blame me, and I don't blame them for it. I let her down. It doesn't matter that I had someone else watch them for me, it was my post, my responsibility. Now I'll never be trusted my any of them ever again.

Not that I thought they ever did.

I stayed up in my tree for a long time after it happened. I didn't want them to have to see me. I only came down at night, when I knew they wouldn't see me. I didn't even go in when it started to rain.

Maybe that was a mistake, since I started to feel sick after a few nights in the rain. Kavie must've noticed my shivering, against my will she took me down into the tunnels, to her burrow.

I tried. I really did try to fit in, as much as I had ever in my life. That just goes to show I never will, so maybe I should just stop trying. Maybe I'm better off alone.

Once I'm better, I'll probably leave.

I'm sorry, Kima. But I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. That was one thing you never did. I know I was older than you, but I think you had the right idea there.

I don't meant to sound like it. I'm just telling the truth.

-Myla

I mean really, I should have known, Things were just getting to be too nice. I knew that the great circle of life or whatever controls our destinies could not let me get too happy, or even content. Nope, something had to come along and mess with my world.

That something was a jackal.

I don't even know how those kids got past me. I don't know what they said to Kima to get her to go with them. But she did. I just wish she'd had sense enough to stay near me. How could she be so dumb?!

But no, I shouldn't blame her. It was my fault. I know.

Dusty's parents had brought him up late, so he wasn't there when they all left. It was only when he came to me that I noticed about half the pups were missing, including Kima.

I called the remaining pups over to me, and told them to come forward if they knew where the others went. They sensed the urgency in my voice, but they all just stood there. I honestly wanted to scream at them. I would've if one of them hadn't finally pointed in the direction.

Thank whoever that Kavie was passing by, or nobody would have helped. I asked her to stay with the others and then scrambled to the grass. In the direction the pup has pointed.

I started sniffing for them, weird how those instincts kick in every now and then. I definitely don't go around sniffing things, but this time it really came in handy. I found them a good ways away from the tunnels, well into that deep grass. They were all crying because they'd gotten lost. Or at least, that's why I thought they were crying.

It turns out they had all decided that roaming away from the safety of the colony would be a fun idea. I guess since Dusty wasn't around, Kima got coaxed into joining them. They apparently got about halfway out before a jackal came at them, they all ran for it, and Kima was the unfortunate one that tripped.

I can't believe the crazed thing dropped her, but there she was. They were all huddled around her, and seemed to think she was dead. One look at her and I knew she wasn't, but it didn't look too good. I picked her up gently and herded everyone back to their home.

Kavie helped me get them all underground, and Kima's parents rushed up and took her away. They took a moment from whisking their daughter away to glare at me.

I wanted to follow. I wanted to make sure she was ok. No one seemed to think about that, though. Soon all the parents were yelling at me at once. Telling me I should have been more alert, and how could I let this happen? Honestly, did they think I wanted their kids to sneak away?

I didn't say anything to defend myself. They wouldn't let me get a word in. They practically chased me out of the tunnels. I ran up the tree, and I've been here ever since.

If I could only get to Kima and her parents. I could tell them how sorry I am. I could see if she was ok. This is the most worried I've been since my mother got sick. Definitely not a pleasant feeling, worry, how it grows and eats away at you. It's almost as bad as guilt, which I also have gnawing away at my insides. Because I know that this is all my fault. I kept pushing her to be more open. If I had just kept my mouth shut, she wouldn't have gone with them. The of course there's also the fact that I should have watched them more closely. Though, it's not like they hadn't done something like this before, it's just the first time anything bad has happened.

But it only takes one mistake like this one to get someone exiled.

{The next Day}

Kavie called up to me earlier today. I was ready. I hadn't slept much, mostly do to the worrying, but also because I knew what was coming. I climbed down and sat with her on the rock.

"Is Kima alright?" I asked her. She smiled sadly at me.

"For now. They've cleaned her up, and she's awake, but we'll just have to wait and see."

"When do you want me to leave?" I didn't feel I should avoid the inevitable.

"What do you mean?" she asked me. She didn't have to pretend, she could just come out with it. I'm sure I'd be ok. Almost.

"Well, I'm exiled, right?"

To my surprise, she laughed. "I have been getting that all morning."

"What?"

"I looked into what happened yesterday. When I asked the pups who wandered off with Kima what happened, they all started crying and apologizing. They seemed to think the same thing you are."

What? I thought. They seemed to think that it was their fault and that they'd be exiled? "But it's not their fault, I was in charge of them!"

Kavie shook her head and gave me a pitying look. "I'm now going to say I'm not worried for little Kima, but I would never think about kicking you out for this. You have been a wonderful sitter, and I'm sure you were doing everything right. This is just an accident."

"Yeah, right. Those pups don't even respect me enough to listen to me. They always keep running off. It was just a matter of time before something this happened" I said. I was hating myself for doing it, but I was actually feeling sorry for myself.

"I'm the accident."

I heard Kavie give a sigh, then I felt her paw lift my chin to her face level, and she brought me into a hug. It had been a very long time since I'd gotten one of those. I wanted to let it all out right then. All my anxiety and worry, all that guilt built up in there, but I tried not to. I settled for hugging her back.

When she let go I sniffed, this time not instinctively, but trying to hold back the tears. Then she gave me that look she got sometimes, and I knew what she would say.

"Sometimes you so remind me of my Timmy."

I paused before I spoke, to make sure my voice wouldn't crack. I managed a tiny laugh. "I'll bet he never let anything as bad as this happen."

"Well, not as scary, no. Not for him anyway, but for me..." I stopped her right there.

"I'm sorry, Kavie. I'm not in he mood for a Timon story." I looked back up at the tree. "I think I just want to be alone."

"Oh, but you know, when you're feeling like this sometimes that's when you need a friend the most."

It made me slightly happier to hear her call us friends, but I still didn't think so. "I just don't think that one of your stories is really gonna help this time."

She nodded and patted my paw. I hope she did know that I was sorry. When she left I could sense that she did, or it could have just been that I had started to cry once I was up in the tree. Thankfully no one could see me.

I hope to anything and everything that Kima will be ok.

-Myla

which I guess it is, but today it strayed into awkward territory.

Kima's been playing with that little Dusty pup for the past few weeks. he rarely ever sits with me anymore, I've noticed that they seem to be comfy sitting with each other. The other little pups still don't really want to play with her, but I think she might be wearing them down. They don't seem to mind her as much anymore, even if they still won't talk to her.

This was why I was so surprised today when Kima just plopped right down beside me. She then asked me so quickly, I had to ask her to repeat it, (Kima nervous, I'm thinking that's a first for her) "How do you talk to boys?"

I blinked and looked at her. She did look serious. I didn't really know what to tell her. Nobody has ever asked me anything like that before, so I was kind of flabbergasted decided to answer her truthfully. "I'm not sure I'm the right female to be getting advice like that from."

"What? You never had a mate or anything?"

"Aha ha! Are you kidding?!" I laughed. Well, it was pretty laughable. Me with a mate? Yeah, right. No male around has ever been interested in me. Fine with me. To have a mate, you need to become close to someone. That's still something I'm not to good with.
Especially not with males.

"I'm sorry." I said to her. I understood that she really did want help. "But seriously, why don't you just go to your mom for things like this?"

"I dunno." she said. She amuses me so much. She tries to pretend she's tough and everything, but at times like this she acts like a real pup.

I sighed. "What do you two usually talk about?"

"Well, we don't talk that much."

"Ah." I said. "Just open up more then, talking to males isn't hard, they're just other meerkats."

She was quiet for a while. I could tell she was stalling. I had given her my thoughts, now she knew she had to use them.

I decided to give her a little push. "So you're not going to talk to him anymore? Huh? You too afraid?"

She took the bait. "Am not."

"Are so. If you're not then what are you doing sitting with this old lady? Go ahead, then you'll be out of my fur." Of course that had a touch of sarcasm, and I bet she noticed, but she got up and left anyway.

I smirked to myself as she approached Dusty. Yeah, it was cute. That was pretty awkward, but I was very surprised at how I handled it. Huh, maybe I am cut out to be a mom...someday. Very far into the future, I mean older than Kavie.

-Myla

Kima and I were in the shade while the other pups played, I watched them like normal, and Kima mostly just layed around and grabbed a bug or two when she heard them coming.

It was about late afternoon and I was about to go and find someone to take over for me so I could go eat. I hadn't eaten all day. I'm usually one of the last to eat every day, since no one really jumps at the chance to do me a favor. Kavie's busy with her matriarch things, or I bet she'd help.

Well when I was getting up I noticed that the pups had stopped playing for a second. When they resumed, I saw one of them coming towards Kima and me. I sighed and kind of rolled my eyes without the kid seeing. Usually when a pup comes up to me he or she is crying or needs me to resolve some fight that they're having.

I noticed thankfully that he wasn't crying, and that no one seemed to be fighting. I was wondering what he wanted. Then I noticed he was really looking up at me. He was looking at Kima. The little male actually asked her to come play with them.

At first Kima didn't seem to know what to make of this. It took her a minute to answer. I didn't say anything, and surprisingly she actually got up so that they were face to face, then the pup took her paw (she pulled away) and she followed him out into the sun.

The other little pups rolled their eyes and some of them walked away as Kima and the other one came up. (I do not know where they got the eye-rolling from, it was not me.)

It was actually kind of cute. It's nice to know at least someone else is on Kima's side. He may be dirty and scruffy-looking a lot of the time. Well, all the time really. He does a lot of digging, I'm not sure what his real name is, but some of the pups have been calling him "Dusty" and I don't know if that's his name or a nickname. (we have a "Flinchy" in the colony, but that's his nickname).

When their parents came to take them, they were still playing together, so Kima didn't say goodbye to me. I guess that's just as well. I don't know why, but I felt a little proud, and a little left out.

Might not be a big deal, but I could talk to Kavie about it.

-Myla